[Question #7544] Hiv testing questions and advise

3 months ago
Hi hope your all well, I am I need of some desperate advice. First on 27th December 2020 I made a mistake by meeting up with a girl I have only known for a month. We met up and there was a lot of frottage I removed the condom as I kept getting soft and tried to penetrate anus and vagina I cant remember whether my penis penetrated her not I am trying to think back but is a blank as we tried all positions. I was a little drunk to realise wether or not I penetrated her as I just gave up. I have asked her numerous times about her hiv status she tried to reassure me that she was fine and I find it hard to believe. My reason for being here today is 7 days after the encounter I started feeling weakness in my legs and pains in my calf’s constant. I found it hard to walk around and concentrate however on Saturday the 9th 2021 my legs felt better but started again this morning. which caused me a hell of anxiety as I also had very concerning night sweats and still do. I went for a hiv duo test and a hiv pcr test and it came back not detected on the 7th of jan 2021 day which is only 11 days after exposure. Because my anxiety is through the roof she has decided to test on Wednesday the 14th jan 2021 however would it be better if she took a hiv pcr test or a simple hiv duo test I’m asking this as it does cost a lot of money and I need the peace of mind. I asked the clinic we are using and they are suggesting the hiv pcr test as it looks for any eveidence of hiv in the blood. Please could you advice me. 1) if she was to go for a hiv duo test on Wednesday and pcr rna test would I be able to close the book there if negative.

2) would any medications affect the realiabilty of the test as supposedly she is on some medication am so paranoid as I have had bad anxiety over this and my legs pains come and go. When can I test to try and put this to bed and also carry on with my wife as normal as I have been acting up lately thinking the worst so I have been putting of sleeping with my wife. 
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
3 months ago
Welcome to the forum.

You are seriously overreacting. The chance your partner has HIV is zero or close to it:  despite what you apparently think, HIV remains very rare in sexually active women in the US and other industrialized countries and there was under 1 chance in a thousand your partner is infected -- even before she assured you otherwise. And when a woman has HIV, the risk fo a male partner from one episode of unprotected vaginal sex is 1 chance in 2,500 (that's equivalent to daily sex with infected women for 7 years before you likely would be infected).

It was wrong for you to insist your partner be tested again for HIV. But now that she has agreed, at this point, I suggest just mellowing out and waiting for that result. It will be negative.

Your negative AgAb (duo) test at 11 days doesn't mean much:  it takes 2 weeks to reach 90% reliability and 6 weeks for a truly conclusive result. A negative PCR at about the same time (2 weeks after the sexual event) would be reassuring, but still not 100% conclusive. I suggest you save your money.

Those comments pretty well cover your numbered questions, but to assure no misunderstanding: 1) Her negative test alone will be 100% assurance you were not exposed to HIV; you don't need the PCR test. 2) There are NO medications of any kind that have any effect on reliability or timing of the standard HIV tests, including the AgAb (duo) test and PCR.

You can safely "put this to bed and also carry on with [your] wife as normal" right now. Or if you insist, once you know your new partner's negative test result in a few days.

Let me know if anything isn't clear.

HHH, MD
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3 months ago
Sorry I think you have misunderstood me I was the one who was test with a hiv qualatative test and tested negative and also a duo test at 11 days. I’m over in the U.K.

She has said she will get tested on Wednesday which will be 17 days away from exposure. If that comes back negative can I be confident in the test and would it be better for her to take a 4th gen test rather than a pcr qualatative test. 

My reason for concern is after 7 days I had pain in my thighs and calves, calves continue to hurt I can’t remember if I penetrated her anus as I am blank with memory but she said she never felt it go in just rub against the opening.  

1) leg pains 7 days later, night sweats, and loss of appetite and weight and also red veins in my eye balls no energy to do anything just reading on hiv. If these pains never started I would have never thought of hiv my is all over the show and I’m in a state of panic. 

2) when would it be possible to close the book on this situation when her results come back, or should I carry on testing out? 

3) what are the statitcal chance of catching hiv if my penis penetrated her anus a little.

Thank you so much 
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
3 months ago
Thanks for clarifying your location. The risk of heterosexual transmission of HIV in the UK is even lower than in North America -- even among the most sexually active women, on average under 1 in 1,000 has HIV.

I understood you were the one tested and didn't say otherwise. If your partner has a negative test at 17 days, it will prove 100% she was not infected (or if newly infected, not yet able to transmit to you) during the contact described. That's why that single test result is all you need for 100% assurance.

1) These symptoms do not suggest HIV -- and your negative test results so far prove HIV cannot be the cause. It is impossible to have HIV symptoms without positive antibody. It is the immune response to the virus (measured by antibody) that causes symptoms, not the virus itself. These symptom are unrelated to the sexuel exposure, unless due to anxiety about the event.

2) Re-read my reply above.

3) Anal sex is slightly higher risk than by vaginal sex, but not much. With such a brief possible exposure, probably under 1 chance in several thousand, even if she were infected. Which she was not. See my comments above about the overall risk of this situation.

Threads are closed after two follow-up comments and replies, so you have one more coming. I suggest waiting until either your partner's next test result is available, and/or any additional tests you decide to do. In the meantime, do your best to believe and trust the reasoned, science based reassurance I have tried to give. You can be sure you don't have HIV and that sex with your wife is safe.
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3 months ago
I think my anxiety is getting getting the better of me and it’s making it worse due to me thinking the worst possible. I know I have one question left however at times like this assurance from good knowledgeable people is needed. I have continued having night sweats the leg pains come and go yesterday I noticed a limb growing on my hairline above the ear on my head is this a symptom or am I being irrational. The girl is booked in for a hiv test tomorrow so I thought I’d book in with her. My questions today are.

1) if she is positive what are the chances of me catching it. 

2) my exposure was on the 27th December  tomorrow will be the 13th jan 2021, if she tests negative do I still have to worry about the days before the run upto the 27th or can I close the book there? 

3) if everything is good do I need to carry on retesting  for example on the 25th  which will be 28 days or can I leave it at that. I really need to know my anxiety is driving me insane especially with the lump I have noticed on the side of my head above the ear. 

Kind regards I really appreciate you guys. 
3 months ago
I’m getting more anxious due to the little lump that has appeared above my left ear. Please advise me docs.
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
3 months ago
1) "if she is positive what are the chances of me catching it"? From my initial reply above:  "when a woman has HIV, the risk fo a male partner from one episode of unprotected vaginal sex is 1 chance in 2,500 (that's equivalent to daily sex with infected women for 7 years before you likely would be infected)."

2) You can close the book if she tests negative. The chance she was infected but doesn't yet have a positive teat is zero for all practical purposes. Even then, she cannot transmit before her own AgAb blood test is positive.

3) if your partner is tested and has a negative result, I would recommend against any repeat testing in you.

That completes the two follow-up exchanges included with each question and so ends this thread. I hope the discussion has been helpful. Do your best to move on without worry. Best wishes and stay safe.
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