Hello Doctors,

After finally putting my last event behind me, I wouldve never thought I would be in the same shoes after experiencing so much anxiety and sadness the last time, but here I am again worrying about my stupid choices. I hope you can bring some insight and help me put these irrational fears away.

10 day ago I visited a massage parlor, received an unprotected handjob by an asian masseuse. She had her clothes on the entire time. Did not touch herself at all. From what I remember she only used lube and oil, no saliva at all.

What risks does this put me in ?

Also 3 days ago I went to a strip club, towards the end I received protected oral, condom was on from start to finish. Nothing else occured, event lasted no more than 4-5 minutes, I did ejaculate, but when I did so my penis wasnt even in her mouth if that even matters, after I finished with the stripper I went to the restroom to clean up and checked for any rips on condom, and even cleaned the condom before I took it off. Condom was intact. My mind keeps repeating this specific event and even though I know the condom was intact, I always get that what if I didnt check it good enough, what if I missed a spot, but im pretty sure I wouldve noticed if it was ripped right away. One thing to add, and what has me most anxious is after I took off the condom, I noticed my penis was pretty beat up after a couple unconfortable lap dances from other strippers, especially my glans, it was really red, and there was a cut/burn somewhere towards the middle of my glans and one towards the bottom, I also had another cut/burn towards the shaft of my penis. I am certain these were caused by friction from the lap dances. It was especially sore the next day, It is still noticeable to this day but is healing, I also noticed I am having lower abdominal pain, and mild testicular pain the day after.
This isnt the first time I experience this pain, and I would guess it is from stress, anxiety. 

1. What risk if any did I put myself in from this event ?

2. Do the cuts and bruises elevate the risk of catching an std, lets just say in case her saliva made its way there ?

3. What should I test for ?

4. Should I abstain from unprotected sex with my wife ?

5. What could cause such pain in that area ? Last time I had this pain was about 2-3 months ago, and all my tests were negative. Could it be coincidential, or it be due to anxiety or stress towards the situation ?

Welcome back to the Forum. I’ll be glad to comment.---

Hello Doctor,

Thanks for your quick response. I have a few more questions.

1. Regarding the first event even though it was just a handjob, I did not have a condom on. Would that still warrant as a no risk situation for all stds ?

2. I agree with you that sex can make your penis look worn out for a while maybe a day, but I had open cuts on my glans and shaft which could of possibly been bleeding, does that change anything, if per say saliva would of gotten up there.

3. HIV isnt my only concern , do you believe I am clear from all STD's ? I know Dr. Hansfield said protected oral carries little risk, but he didnt specifically say zero risk nor did he deny it was zero risk. Would both of yall agree on the response you gave me ?

4. Would your assement of changed in the protected oral if it were not protected at all ? From what I know unprotected oral does carry some risk of catching something right ?


I just dont want to put my wife at risk from yhis situation, but dont want yo go with the dreadful wait of getting tested if you believe I dont have to and can just carry on.

Thanks, 

Straight to your follow up questions:---

Thanks again for the quick response, I know this will be my final answer, and I just want to sum things up.

1. How clear is a torn condom ? Does the whole thing just rip in one piece, therefore you say I wouldve noticed it.

2. I had asked you that I was worried about every std there was, you state that I should be clear from all of them and should not worry about testing for any of them ?

3. You mentioned that if it were unprotected there would be a slight chance of a possible std risk, but since my encounter was protected , then I shouldnt worry ?

4. Are there any stds that cause abdominal pain and mild testicular discomfort, especially just 24 hrs after the encounter ? Same with the abrasions, lets just say they werent caused by friction, would an std appear in such matter and only 24 after the encounter ?

5. my final question, I may sound repetative, but am I 100% free to move on with life , without worrying of putting my wifes health in danger, and any symptom will not be whatsoever be related to such encounters ? 

Sorry doc, I think I was unclear on my second question, I meant to say should I presume I am clear from all stds, and thus do not require testing for any of them, including the most common ones like gonnoreah and chlamydia ?

Doctor I also wanted to add that I do have genital hsv1, does this add any risk to the protected oral encounter ?

Straight to your final questions, mostly for verification of earlier responses:---