[Question #7635] Oral sex and other Risks for HIV and STDs

16 days ago

I’m in quite a deep anxiety and really need help on my situation. Since English isn’t my native language, sorry if there’s any confusing made. 


I went to a massage parlour few days ago, and got massage from a lady both naked (but she got her underpants on during the whole session). 


Before the massage started, we went showered together. She then masturbate me for a 1-2 minutes then gave me an oral sex ONLY(protected with condom on the whole time) at the end which lasts for around 1-2 minutes, no any other sexual activity occurred, she also didn’t licked any other parts of me besides my nipple (not even my scrotum, maybe little contact with my pubic area, not sure). 


I’m pretty sure that the condom hasn’t leaked or slipped after I ejaculated. She took of my condom after I ejaculate and wiped my penis with tissues afterwards. 


I also couldn’t see any bleeding wounds or cuts on her body or hands, but not sure if there’re any lesion inside her mouth. 


I’ve called and ask the local HIV association and also consulted a doctor these days. The local HIV consultant told me that I’m in an extremely low risk on stds and about zero risk for HIV. But on the other hand the doctor I consulted said there’re risks in any acts, a condom will lower my risk but still risky, oral sex will also have a risk to transmit HIV. 


Here will be my concerns: 


1) This will be my major concern. Will I be at risks for any stds (especially HIV and Syphilis) in this act? Do I need to get tested just based on this act? 


2) I know it’s a quite crazy question, but if assuming that there’s sperm from previous customers or virus inside the showering gel or on the tissue, will there be a chance that I’ll get infected? Since I’ve used the shower gel to wash my penis and she wiped my penis with the tissue after I ejaculated. 


4). Will I get any STDs from her when she massage me naked or when she touches my penis with her hand?


3) just want to know is oral sex a low risk act on transmitting stds? And how lower the chances will be if I used a condom correctly? 


4) Is there any cases happened before that are similar to me and got infected? 


5). Is it safe now to have contact or sex with my girlfriend?


I know I’m really dumb and shouldn’t make any mistakes like, I’m really stressed out these days and need help on this issue, my questions might be long,  it please help answering in more details. Sorry for being annoyed. 

16 days ago
Just an update to the questions:

Please assume that she is HIV positive, although I’m not sure about her HIV or STDs status, I know she’s from a city in China that have quite a lot people infected with HIV around. 
Edward W. Hook M.D.
Edward W. Hook M.D.
16 days ago

Welcome to our Forum. thanks for your question and for your confidence in our service.  I'll do my best to help.  Before I address your specific questions, let me provide some general information.  The exposure you describe was no risk for HIV and close to no risk for other STIs.  I would not be the least bit worried about having acquired an STI following the events you describe.  I agree with the doctor who told you that you were not at risk and would suggest that the doctor who suggested you may be at risk was being overly conservative.  I say this for the following reasons:

1.  Most people, even most commercial sex workers do not have STIs, including HIV.

2.  When persons have STIs, most single exposures do not result in transmission of infection.

3. Receipt of oral sex is even lower risk for acquisition of STIs than other sorts of sexual exposure.  I am not aware of any proven cases in which HIV was acquired from receipt of oral sex.

4.  Your use of a condom made your low risk exposure a NO risk exposure. Condoms remain highly effective for prevention of acquisition of STIs, including HIV.

With these general comments, let me now address your specific questions. 

1) This will be my major concern. Will I be at risks for any stds (especially HIV and Syphilis) in this act? Do I need to get tested just based on this act?

No.  I see no risk and no need for testing.


2) I know it’s a quite crazy question, but if assuming that there’s sperm from previous customers or virus inside the showering gel or on the tissue, will there be a chance that I’ll get infected? Since I’ve used the shower gel to wash my penis and she wiped my penis with the tissue after I ejaculated. 

No.  No risk


4). Will I get any STDs from her when she massage me naked or when she touches my penis with her hand?

No, STIs, including HIV are not transmitted through massage or receipt of masturbation. 


3) just want to know is oral sex a low risk act on transmitting stds? And how lower the chances will be if I used a condom correctly? 

Yes, see my general comments above


4) Is there any cases happened before that are similar to me and got infected? 

No


5). Is it safe now to have contact or sex with my girlfriend?

Yes, it is safe to have unprotected sexual contact with your GF. 


I hope these replies are helpful. Please don't worry. EWH


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16 days ago
Thank you very much Dr. Hook for your detailed reply. After reading your reply makes me reassured a bit. But there’re still some little questions I would want to ask. 

1) For syphilis or herpes, I knew that the risk is that if the chancre or lesion inside her mouth or throat touches my genital. But in this case since the condom is fully on, I assume there won’t be any contact if the lesion is inside her mouth. So this could rule off a bit. And I didn’t see any lesion on her lips, she didn’t also sucked that deep, pretty much sure she have no contact to my scrotum, but maybe a very less contact to my pubic area. So does this sounds correctly that I don’t need to worried about syphilis as well?

2) many virus especially HIV will be dead once left the body and touches any material such as air, liquid. And it’ll lost its transmitting risk to others. So even though I assumed that there would be any blood or semen from other customers left around, and she did used that tissue to wipe my penis is off, the virus itself will be dead by then. Is this correct?

3) can you explain shortly with your professional knowledge that what’s the risk on transmitting HIV to others by oral? (Such as I knew that saliva would help to kills the virus itself)

4) I would want to know, or just being curious, if the above act I made is WITHOUT using a condom on, will it still be a 0 to extremely low risk exposure?

5) assuming the massage lady is HIV positive, will this increase a lot of risk in this act? 

6) Lastly, the final question is taking away the stats, during your career, have you ever ever seen a case that got HIV from receiving oral sex from another person?

Sorry for making it long since I’m pretty paranoid now, just want to be clear that I’m totally safe out of it and won’t missed any risky act. 
Edward W. Hook M.D.
Edward W. Hook M.D.
16 days ago

Straight to your follow-up questions:

1.  I would not be worried about syphilis. Oral syphilis is extraordinarily well and occurs primarily among men with other men as sex partners.  Further, the condom use would effectively prevent most herpes and syphilis occurring form receipt of oral sex.

2.  Correct.  HIV and other STIs are not transmitted trough contact with contaminated inanimate objects, including tissues.

3.  As I said above, there are NO proven cases in which a person has acquired HIV from receipt of oral sex..  Similarly, I am unaware of any cases in which HIV was transmitted through cunnilingus, not that this is relevant to you. 

4.  Yes, it would still be a very, very low risk encounter.

5.  No, it would not increase risk if she had untreated HIV

6. No- I've said that above, twice!  Not ever. 


Again, you're safe.  Please don't worry. EWH

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16 days ago
Thank you again Dr. Hook for your keen response. 
1 more last question:
I saw an article saying that the ONLY risk for receiving an oral sex is that the giver will need to have an obvious wound that is bleeding a lot (or gum bleeding) which should be very obvious. 
On the other hand, the giver will have a much higher risk then the receiver especially if there isn’t a condom on and ejaculated in her mouth. But still not a high risk.  
Is this article correct? Theoretically. 

And also just to conclude what we’ve talked about:

No risk for HIV (no matter if I put a condom on or not) and extremely low risk for any STDs since I used a condom correctly in my case, and no any test are required just based on this act. Since my act is safe, even though she is HIV positive and untreated won’t make any differences, cause my act makes me safe. 


Edward W. Hook M.D.
Edward W. Hook M.D.
16 days ago

I suspect the article you saw was on the internet.  That is incorrect.  Oral lesions, cuts, dental and gum disease are common yet there are O proven cases in which HIV was transmitted to another person through an HIV infected person performing oral sex on an uninfected person.  NONE.  Really!!!!

As for persons getting HIV through giving oral sex to an infected person, the risk is,, on average, 1 infection per more than 10,000 acts of oral sex (i.e. like giving oral sex to an HIV infected persons without protection once a day for over 27 years).  0 i.e. that in 99,99% of exposures, transmission will not occur.

Please do not look for information on the internet.  as you have experience, much of what is there is incorrect and misleading.

Please don't worry.  As you know, we provide up to three responses to each client's questions. therefore this thread will be closed shortly.  EWH 

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