Good day

i recently had a lapse in judgement and visited an escort at a hotel.

We did not have any vaginal sex. There was protected blowjob on me, a lot of mutual masturbation and  lap dances on me while i had my underwear on, may have had some genital to genital rubbing but my condom would have been on or my underwear as I was too nervous for the risk of a bare penis-  however when i ejaculated i did come into contact with her lips briefly. I don't believe i inserted it in all the way but her tongue (while stick out)/lips may have licked my penis briefly for a second or 2.

Since my interaction with the escort i have not had any symptoms.

Fast forward 4 weeks later. I had unprotected intercourse with my wife and  on the 7th day from our unprotected she experienced lower ab pain from our encounter. By the 10th day her pain is only present when she walks really fast but acknowledged that the day she had the pain onset she was on her feet all day doing heavy work.

Could I have passed on Gonorrhea or an NGU to her? Could she be symptomatic while i am asymptomatic. She has had pelvic pain before but the reason this one worries me is exactly 7 days after matches an STD timeline. I also have to say google has not been kind to me and has convinced me this could be PID? or and STD from me.

a) Should i be getting tested

b) Would my experience be low risk or medium risk - my main concern is my unprotected brief 1 to 2 seconds of contact with her lips/tongue as i climaxed.

thanks

Sorry i should also state that prior to the exposure with the escort:

i did carry out an STD Test (1 week before) and everything came back negative - Urine and blood was done.

thank you,

And describing the pain - it is not itchy or burning but anytime there is movement she has discomfort. However when sitting still there is no pain. I am not sure if this is an STD symptom or not but again few days after our sexual encounter for her to feel that pain makes me wonder if my encounter was the reason.

thank you

I certainly understand your concern about your wife's symptoms. But you can be confident they have nothing to do with your sexual exposure four weeks earlier. The sexual events you describe were essentially zero risk for any and all STDs. In general, STDs are pretty hard to transmit -- in fact, that's why they depend on sex for transmission. They're not just infections that dominantly affect the genital area, but biologically require the intimate contact of sex for transmission to occur. Congratulations for using a condom for the oral sex component -- the only aspect of that event that otherwise had any significant chance of transmitting any STD. Further, presumably your tests a week later included urine tests for gonorrhea and chlamydia, which are highly reliable by a week after the last potential exposure. And those are the only potential STDs likely to cause symptoms of the sort your wife has had.

One of the main complications of STD in women -- primarily the result of gonorrhea or chlamydia -- is pelvic inflammatory disease (PID), for which low abdominal pain is the main symptom. However, there are plenty of other potential causes of such symptoms. (The details of how her pain feels and when it happens don't help distinguish PID or any other potential cause.) Most women with PID have other symptoms as well, especially vaginal discharge, and often vaginal bleeding or spotting. Their apparent absence doesn't rule out PID, but does make it even less likely.

For all these reasons, there is no realistic chance she acquired any STD from you on account of your sexual exposure a month earlier. I will point out an obvious truth, however:  when one member of a couple finds a need for other sexual experiences, often the other has done the same. Obviously I cannot judge whether that's likely in your wife's case; you know her and I don't. Any unexplained abdominal or pelvic pain on women should be professionally evaluated, but I'm not certain your wife's discomfort is "unexplained". If she attributes it to her work and with it's apparent improvement -- which would be very unlikely with untreated PID -- probably nothing need be done. But she should see her gynecologist if it continues or worsens, and of course if the pain becomes severe or if she develops fever, bleeding, etc. In the meantime, I see no need for you to have additional STD testing.

I hope these comments are helpful. Let me know if anything isn't clear.

HHH, MD

Thanks Doctor and sorry my 1 week test was before my encounter with the escort not after. Sorry for the confusion. does that change your assessment?

In reference to the moment of unprotected sex when my condom came off during ejaculation - and came into contact with her lip/tongue - would it be safe that could not have caused her pelvic pain. I have not had any other exposures and i am trying to make sure i am not causing her pain. We do have a plan to take her in for her discomfort.

i know for a fact she would not have had another partner. it is my stupidity only here. I was just curious on the basis that within 7 days of our sex she experiences only pelvic discomfort. no other discharge or urination burns. She also got tested with me last time 1 week before my escort encounter and had a negative gonno and chlymadia test.

thank you doctor

With her getting tested at the same time as me 1 week before the escort encounter and me having the escort exposure later - if you do in fact consider my exposure not realistic to cause PID, i can assume this would not be an STD?

sorry i maybe being repetitive here but i am just trying to understand and make sure i got it right.

thanks

Last question Doc

During the few seconds of masturbating that lead to ejaculation - my penis was not inserted in her mouth but it did not have a condom on and while i did not insert it into the mouth -

a)can coming into contact with the Tongue or lip be infectious

b) say if she spat on my penis which i do recall happening (Spitting and using her saliva on my penis) would that lead to PID?

Sorry for these. what scares me is her first sex act with me since I made my stupid error and its leading to her pain. I am getting tested tomorrow with a urine test but nevertheless thank you for your support and assurances.

that will be all from me.

b) Saliva rarely if ever transmits STDs, and there is still no chance that you have caused PID in your wife on a count of these events. And you've had the negative STD tests as well!

That completes the two follow-up exchanges included with each question and so ends this thread. Please do not be tempted to start a new one with the same questions. There is no chance you will think of anything new that would alter our judgment or advice, and no chance these will change.

Really, do your best to move on without worry. If your concerns continue, please go back and re-read my replies. Best wishes to you.