Fast forward.. I slept with him on 2/28 and on 3/7. I am a woman and it was unprotected.  On 4/2, I got a cold with a sore throat. Also, I had some swelling in my mouth on one side and my mouth was super dry. No rash or fevers, but due to the timing - I went and got tested with the 4th generation DUO test on 4/9 and it was negative. The next day I get vaccinated for COVID 19 and 3 days after that I have some generalized lymph node swelling. I looked like I had mumps, so weird. I start freaking out again and beg my ex to get tested. On 4/14, he tests for a DUO and is negative. 

I am still feeling like absolute crap and now I’ve read that conclusive is 6 weeks or more on the DUO. So, on 4/24 - I test again via DUO and I am again negative. Forgive my language but, this shit is crazy. The timing is so on point, I can not help but think that my X gave me HIV despite OUR tests results.  I had a CT of my neck and they stated there was no lymph node swelling, but I may have chronic sinusitis. I’m just hoping, praying and wishing that my results are accurate and I can move on. 

Doctors: What do you think? Do you think there is a way that my X could of somehow falsified his results? He uses the same medical office that I do and we get our results on an app and his looked legit.  Are my results conclusive and can I now focus on something other then HIV causing my symptoms? 

Also, I am from the USA and live in Nebraska. 

Your alarm is entirely understandable. But truly, you can relax:: for sure you do not have HIV! There are several reasons.

Your symptoms are not the main reason, but they are important:  acute retroviral syndrome (ARS), the initial symptoms of a new HIV infection, do not cause common cold symptoms. Sore throat can be present, but rarely as the only symptom; and other cold symptoms (stuffy nose, sneezing, etc) do not occur. Dry mouth has not been reported with HIV, but is common with colds. You were right to be tested for COVID-19 (glad it was negative!), but in retrospect you had a cold, nothing more.

Most important, the HIV antigen-antibody (AgAb, "duo", "4th generation") blood tests are among the most accurate dignostic tests ever developed, for any medical condition. Your results prove three things:  that you did not acquire HIV from the exposures described; that your ex-husband doesn't have it; and that if somehow you actually did have HIV, despite the test results, it was not the cause of your symptoms. (It is not possible to have HIV with a negative HIV antibody test within the next week.)

Could your ex have falsified his test result? I suppose so -- but you're in a much better position than I am to judge that possbility:  you know him well and I certainly don't! But even if he did that, your own test results are conclusive.

Minor additional point:  heterosexually transmitted HIV is a lot less common than you might assume from media attention -- and is vanishingly rare in Nebraska. I can't speak to high risk settings in urban or economically disadvantaged settings (e.g. downtown Omaha or native American reservations), but in the general population, no way, no how.

So all is well. No more testing, please. You're good to go! Let me know if anything isn't clear.

Cheers--   HHH, MD

I did read that it’s not very common in my state. 

I know I only have this last one response, so I am going to just ask some clarifying questions. 

The cold I experienced on 4/2 - hit me like a ton of bricks. I was tired for a day or two prior, but then I had itchy eyes, dry mouth, dry sore throat, facial pain. It does sound more like allergies as I type it out, but to confirm those are not ARS symptoms with the exception of the sore throat - which was minor? 

I am still dealing with some of these symptoms, mostly the sore ish throat and fatigue. So, it’s been going on for about a month and a half. Do Acute symptoms last this long? 

With my testing: cold symptoms on 4.2, tested negative on 4.9 and testing negative again 4.24 - based on what I have read is that if you have ARS at least a week before a test, you will test positive on the next test? Because the symptoms are your body’ s way of fighting the infection, correct? I had a CBC on 4.15 and my WBC were elevated, I am assuming that was because of my COVID vaccine that I had on 4.9, that seems logical, right? 

And finally - with my last test being 7 weeks from the most recent exposure and since it was a DUO… that is conclusive? 

Thanks so much for answering. You’re saving lives with the knowledge, you share. But, for me you’re helping my mental health. 

Nearly real-time exchange going on:  I happened to be online soon after your initial question and again when your follow-up query came.

Yes, correct that the HIV antibody test (including the AgAb test) is always positive within a week of symptom onset.

Finally, yes:  your 7 week AgAb (duo) test was conclusive.

Thanks for the thanks -- that's why we're here!

Exposure: 2/28 & 3/7

Cold or whatever it is: 4/2

Negative DUO: 4/9

His Negative DUO: 4/14

My second negative DUO: 4/24