I am having a really bad time getting courage to go get an Hiv test. Reason being I have had deep anxiety about having Hiv for more than 4 YEARS now, I have a stable relationship and the sole idea of imagining a positive result make me sweat and lose sleep, literally. I have decided to put an end to this, as I have no reason to believe I have HIV, but would like to have risk assessed by you first. 

Sexual History,  with other men (I am a man) :

* Bottomed only twice, once around 8 years ago (asked for condom used, partner got it in, found evidence of use next day, partner claims to be negative, but I was too drunk to 100% assure proper usage all time). Another one 5 years ago, pretty sure on correct condom use. 

* Topped a couple times more, most recent about 4 years ago. 100% sure on proper condom use. 

* Several unprotected oral sex, give and receive, latest give more than a year ago. Never got anyone ejaculated on my mouth. I used to have mildly bleeding gums when brushing, but never engaged with an active sore. 

* A few mutual masturbation and penis to penis contact. Some precum and semen may have ended on my hand, from normal contact. Used to bite nails, but never engaged with any open sore. 

* I have always asked about HIV status, no known infected partner, but of course I cannot 100% be certain. 

Given this history, what do you think my overall risk is? I have even gotten to think the worst outcome in my life if test would be positive. I also know deep inside I am at no significant risk, so I want to get this over with. But, do you agree with my self assessment? 

Because these concerns continue to worry you, I urge you to seek testing. The chance that your test will be positive is very, very low. Further, testing will not change whether or not you have HIV. Rather it is likely to show you that you are not infected and allowing you to set these worries aside. Finally, in the very unlikely chance that you were infected, to delay testing also delays your opportunity for therapy which converts HIV from a serious disease to a lifelong, readily manageable disease.

I hope this perspective is helpful to you. Please get tested. If you do your results will be conclusive and I am confident they will show that you are not HIV infected. EWH

I must also say I have tested several times for G/C, orally and urine, and have been neg. No symptoms for syphilis either. I feel I am in general good heath shape, I normally have some mouth sores but all can be easily explained (bitting, hiting with toothbrush, etc). 

While nothing of course will relate directly to HIV, I would think other std history or misterious ilness/overall feeling bad will be worse than not having them. 

The few times I have been sick, I have always had a nice and timely recovery. 

I will go and get a test, but given my anxiety I was thinking on doing an oral rapid test (not willing to suffer for days). Are those fine? 

Also, from a purely medical pov, would you worry about this? I will still get one, as I am sick of this, I feel I am not even enjoying life :(

After almost 5 years of suffering I finally gathered enough courage to take a test, mostly due to your latest reassurance. 

I have also posted 4 questions in this forum during that time frame in my worst moments, and both you and doctor HHH had been there, always providing reasonable and expert advice, which has helped me at least manage those bad moments. 

I am happy to say I have just done an OraQuick test, and result was negative as expected! I finally fill I can move on, give that engagement ring I had been postponed and definitely facing this fear will help me face future ones. 

I will still do a blood test to be 100% sure, but now I can go do it no fear. In your point of view, from a purely test accuracy perspective, will Ora Quick be trustable with no recent potential exposures? 

I will still come and post my final result, but I really want to let you know both of you DO make a difference in helping not only patients with a given condition, but also us, the super anxious ones. Thanks for all your support, I am not lying when I say this is an inflection point for me. 

I went ahead and got a 4th gen Hiv bood test, as well as chlamydia and gonorrhea and all were negative. 

Last kind of any sexual activity was 7.5 weeks before tests. Can be those deemed conclusive? 

I also read that 4th gen will only look for Hiv1 antigen and not Hiv2, thus making Hiv diagnosis based only on antibodies, which would be subject to a 12 week window. Is that true, or am I done with this? 

Again, thank you so much. 

Your gonorrhea, chlamydia and HIV tests are conclusive, both for HIV-1 and HIV-2.  In the most unlikely event that you acquired HIV-2, you would have produced antibodies which would be detected by the 4th generation tests performed more than 6 weeks after exposure.  Please don't worry, your results are conclusive.  EWH