I’m so worried and anxious about the risk on catching HIV or any other stds. 

Here’s my case:

I went to a massage parlour few days ago, and there’re 2 women who gave me a normal massage at the beginning. But then they offer a handjob and I’ve accepted it. Before they gave me a hand job they’ve also took off their clothes (but not the underwear). 

One lady put some of the massage oil on my penis and start giving me a handjob, during the handjob, she grabbed a one-time gloves and also give me an anal fingering (but not deep inside). She also rubbed my penis with her boobs for around 5 seconds.  During the whole session I didn’t touch anywhere else beside her boobs. The whole handjob lasts for around 10minutes I guessed. 

After I ejaculated I wiped my penis off with tissue and check immediately is there any wounds on my penis and is there blood on her hand or my penis, and pretty sure that there isn’t any blood or wounds. I can also be sure that there isn’t any body fluids exchange during the session. (Unless there’re virus or body fluids inside the massage oil or on her gloves which I don’t know). 

Below are my concerns:

1) is there any chances I’ll get HIV or any other stds during the body massage? (I’ve checked and therere no blood on my body or on the massage bed)

2) Assume there’re virus or maybe even someone else semen in the massage oil, is this possible that the virus could live inside the massage oil?

3) Will I be at risk on any HIV or stds during the handjob? (I couldn’t see any sores or wounds on her hand)

4) Also Will I be at risk (HIV or any stds) when she fingered my anal? My anxiety is forcing me to think too much, I’m just wondering although she had used a gloves while fingering, but what if there’re virus or maybe her secretions / other people semens on the gloves, is there still a risk in this action? 

I’ve searched many online websites, I know my risk are extremely low or even zero, but I really need a super expert to reassured me. 

You needn’t be at all worried; there is no risk of HIV from such exposures. This exact situation— a massage that goes further than expected or intended — is one of the most common that we get. If you use the search function for “massage”, you’ll find maybe hundreds of them. Our response to almost all are pretty much the same, and they apply to  your situation:  HIV has never been known to be transmitted by hand-genital contact or fingering (whether vaginal or anal), even if genital fluids are used for lubrication. Contact with breasts (or any other body part) also is risk-free. Further, I’ll add that it is statistically unlikely the masseuse has HIV anyway. The same applies to all other STDs as well. Finally, the notion that another massage client’s semen could be present in massage oil isn’t reasonable, but even if that happened, neither HIV nor STDs could be transmitted in this way.

Those comments address all your questions. You need not be tested for HIV or anything else, and if you have a regular sex partner, you can continue your usual sexual practices with no chance of transmitting anything. Finally, I would advise you to be careful with your internet searching. Anyone can write anything, and anxious persons often are drawn to information that enhances their fears. For example, no scientific or professionally moderated source would say that hand-genital contact ca n transmit HIV.

So all is well, no worries! I hope these comments are helpful, but let me know if anything isn’t clear.

HHH, MD

1) I know that there are no proven case of handjob and fingering. But excluding the statistics fact, isn’t fingering in my anal with possible body fluids as lubricants counts as fluids exchange inside the body? Since if there’re body fluids on the gloves it might “possibly” touches inside of my anal. 

2) Same as question 1, although there’re no proven case, but if using body fluids as lubricant on hand job, since there are  friction on my penis with the hand, is there a possible risk that the body fluids might enter the mucous membranes?

3) I searched online, some says that it is impossible to catch HIV once it’s outside the body (For example handjob or massage), because HIV dies so fast once it touches the air. Is this true? But in my case, does fingering counts as “inside” of my body?

4) Finally, again, should I be worried about any STDs besides HIV in my case?

Sorry for some sounds like repetitive questions, just to make a double-confirm. Forgive me if my anxiety bothers you. Thank you again for your great help Dr. Handsfield!

1,2) That body fluid contact transmits the virus doesn't mean any and all such contact. Infection requires large amounts of virus to contact susceptible cells, typically deep in tissues or blood. Hand-genital or environmental contact doesn't meet these requirements. If any body fluid contact could transmit, AIDS would be far more common than it is and would not be exclusive to people with intimate contact with one another.

3) Despite common statements like this, there has been little research on HIV survival outside the body. Why not? Because nobody sees a need. Since there are no known cases from exposure to the environment or contact with contaminated objects (towels, toilets, etc, etc), what's the point in doing such research? The biological reasons really don't matter for an event that doesn't happen or is so rare that no cases are known. That said, HIV is a very fragile virus and it indeed is likely it dies rapidly when secretions dry or when outside the body.

4) The same principles apply to all STDs. In theory, those transmitted skin-to-skin (HPV, herpes, syphilis) might be somewhat more likely than HIV transmission. However, busy STD clinics do not have patients who have not had intercourse. In my 40+ years in the STD business, I have never had an infected patient whose only contact was the sort of things you have mentioned. What would you conclude from that experience?

Of course you are free to be tested for HIV and other STDs if the negative results would be reassuring. But be aware that some tests commonly give false results (e.g. HSV testing); and if anything were to be positive, you would have to look back to previous sexual exposures for the explanation, not the massage events described above.

1) So does it mean in order to transmit HIV, the secretions / semen, etc, must needed to be fresh? That might explain why only intercourse sex or blood to blood exchange could transmit HIV virus. 

2) Even assume that she “might” finger herself maybe before giving me a handjob or fingering my anal, the secretion is impossible that it will have enough virus to transmit HIV? (I also searched online the secretion from female before an intercourse sex has very low virus load. The virus load is the most when a female is climax during sex or deep inside her vagina). Not sure is this true?

3) and also, in my case there isn’t any direct contact such as oral sex or intercourse. The whole session is through hand-genital contact or fingering, even if there’re “possible” virus, it will be dead rapidly and too low of load to transmit the virus. 

4) Just to make sure, statistically and realistically, there never been a case and its close to impossible that a person will get infect in a handjob or fingering even if others has secretions on their hand or not (Unless my penis has open wound and bleeding also at the same time her hands are also bleeding).  

5) Lastly, I know this is a repetitive question which I’ve asked several times. But please give me a last confirm to reassure me. In my case, fingering my anal (probably 1/3 of the finger inside my anal), with gloves on (I’ve checked after the whole session it’s a one-time gloves), no matter with or without her secretions on gloves, it is still a no risk and I would not need to concern this forever?

After all these questions, the thread should be closed since I’ve reached 2 replies from Dr. Handsfield. Thank you so much for Dr. Handsfield patience even though my questions are long and repetitive.

 In addition, just sharing, I’ve called one of the HIV/aids preventing organisation in my living place to booked for a HIV test on the future date, but they had rejected me (Since the test is free), and said I had a too low risk which I don’t need for any testing and shouldn’t waste a free quota for other higher risks patients. Lol, I’m just getting controlled by my anxiety and obsessional thoughts. Hope everything will goes smooth after this ends, being reassured by super experts like Dr. Handsfield and also those organisations should end everything! Many thanks again for your help!

2) The fingering question has been answered. Whether or not a woman has an orgasm during sex makes no difference in transmission risk for HIV or any other STD. (Why would it??)

3) I don't know if the virus would be dead. But as I said, regardless of that, there is no risk of HIV transmission.

4) True.

5) I see no need to repeat the same information yet again.

I'm glad to hear the AIDS organization you called agrees with me -- but of course that's not surprising.

Thanks for the thanks. I'm glad the discussion has been helpful. Best wishes and stay safe.