[Question #824] Are these activities 100% risk free with Escorts?

73 months ago
Hi there, thank you in advance for taking my question on board.  I have now for just over 10 years been seeking escort services and the activities I have been part taking in are protected sex and unprotected oral sex.  However I am now married and for reasons that I won't go into I do not feel I can stop seeing escorts.  Since I now have a partner, I cannot risk getting a STD and then passing it onto my partner, despite the fact that the risks are low, so what my intentions are now is to still see escorts but part take in what I believe are 100% risk free activities. I understand that protected sex and unprotected oral sex are not risk free, we can establish that, but can you please confirm that the below fall into the 100% risk free category?

1. Kissing with lips and tongue/saliva contact
2. Me kissing the escort on the neck, body parts and pre-dominantly the breasts and nipples
3. Me receiving oral sex with a condom, however will I still be effected by her spit/saliva touching the areas that the condom is not covered such as the groin, base of the penis, testicles.  Also is there is a risk if my penis reaches right to the bottom of her throat and base part of the penis that is not covered enters inside her mouth?
4. rubbing my penis in between her breasts with lubrication without a condom
5. rubbing my penis in between her bum cheeks without a condom
6. Can I contract anything with her kissing, licking, spitting and sucking on my testicles which are obviously not protected and by this I do mean her fully inserting as much of the testicles in her mouth? 
7. Me fingering the escorts vaginal area, and fully inserting my fingers inside her vagina.  And also fingering her anal region and fully inserting my fingers inside her anus.
8. Me inserting my fingers inside her mouth and having her lick my fingers
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
73 months ago
Welcome to the forum. Thanks for your question.

For the most part, these sorts of exposure all are zero risk, or very close to it, with specific comments below. However, you also need to be realistic. Sometimes people acquire STDs despite these sorts of precautions, especially those that can affect the oral cavity and those transmitted primarily by skin-skin contact, i.e. syphilis, herpes, and HPV. 

1) Kissing is zero risk for all traditional STDs, but stilly risky for oral herpes, which in turn can be transmitted sexually to other partners. Syphilis can be transmitted by kissing, but it's rare, and syphilis is currently rare in women in most settings.

2) No risk at all.

3,6) These are variations of the same question. Contact of your partners' mouth and saliva with penile skin, scrotum, etc is very low risk but not zero, e.g. of genital herpes, HPV, and syphilis.

4) No risk at all.

5) Genital-genital, or genital-anal rubbing, without penetration, still carries risk of syphilis, herpes (HSV2), and HPV. In rare instances, there could be risk of traditional STDs like gonorrhea, syphilis, and chlamydia, to the extent that your partners' genital secretions could gain contact with your urethra.

7,8) Fingering is extremely low risk and I've never seen someone with an STD who only had such exposures. But nobody can guarantee zero risk.

With such exposures, I would still recommend periodic testing (e.g. once a year) at least for syphilis and HIV, and maybe for gonorrhea and chlamydia as well. And you'll need to maintain a low threshold for symptoms that could be due to herpes or HPV.

I hope this has been helpful. Let me know if anything isn't clear. Good luck--  HHH, MD

73 months ago
Dr Handsfield, that's great thank you so much for this, as one of my follow up questions here goes..

So just to clarify are you saying for as long as I still see escorts and only part take in actions 2 and 4, I am at 110% no risk whatsoever! And also that since this is the case, I do not require regular STD testing and that myself and my wife will absolutely be not effected by me part taking in just these two activities with third-party escorts?
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
73 months ago
I don't know the meaning of "third party" escorts. Those activities alone should be free of all STD risk, but I can't endorse "110% no risk whatsoever". I can't say that about the chance you'll be struck by lightning, but the risks probably are in the same ballpark.

73 months ago
Ok that's fine I just need to be certain that the two activities are 110% STD free.  There are various blogs and opinions on the internet that suggests that rubbing in between breasts is still classed as skin-to-skin contact and therefore you can still catch a virus this way, or through the lady spitting or using saliva as lubricant for rubbing.  If you are telling me that this particular activity is completely STD risk free, than those who are posting these statements, are they incorrect in saying this? Or in other words, are they giving wrong information?
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
72 months ago
For STD transmission risk, skin-to-skin does not mean any and all skin contact. It refers strictly to genital or anal area skin. Skin areas like breasts, thighs or hands rarely if ever transmit STDs. Any person or website who says otherwise doesn't know what s/he is talking about. They indeed are giving "wrong" information, or those reading the information are misinterpreting it. But of course nothing is absolute in biology and medicine.

The large majority of men in your situation, limiting their commercial sex exposures to activities 2 ann 4 in your original question, will never acquire any STD. Nevertheless, I can envision rare scenarios in which such contacts could transmit HIV or other STDs. The chance is low enough to be considered zero for practical purposs, but maybe not truly zero in all circumstances.

Therefore, you're not going to get me to confirm your repeated "110%" statements. You'll need to decide whether to be mongamous with your wife or to accept at least a small risk of HIV and other STDs. You can't have it both ways.