Oh boy, this is difficult, I know. 

People who have been infected with HSV 1 genital infection who have had it for two years (you), they shed virus for about 4 days out of the year.  That's very little. But I don't think it is quite that simple, unfortunately.  What if you don't disclose and you do transmit?  then trust becomes the issue and that could be so difficult for a relationship.  Experts disagree about disclosure.  Do you think it is possible to disclose to those with whom you might have a serious relationship but not more casual relationships?  Alternatively, you could disclose that you have the cold sore virus (which about half the population has ) without disclosing the site due to the stigma?  What are your thoughts?

Terri

Thank you so much for the reply and I know it's not an easy straight forward question to answer. All the questions you posed, I have thought about and at the end of the day I have always disclosed because I would never want to do that to someone  like how it was done to me. I have been leaning more towards just disclosing the that I have the "cold sore virus" and leaving out the location; the reality is I want to know if my partner has been tested for STIs, so my history is bound to come up. I guess I could then decide about telling my partner about the Valtrex.  Would the Valtrex stop the potential 4 days of viral shedding that I would have? In reading some of the other herpes questions on here, I read from one of  the other experts that they have never  seen it spread genital to mouth or genital to genital and it would be more likely to spread oral to oral or oral to genital. Have you heard or read this anywhere?  I tend to be someone anxiety prone and even though I've never transmitted it to anyone, the fear of doing so is what prompted this Ask the Experts question anyway. Even though it's been 3 years, I am still angry about it.

Valtrex would likely reduce the frequency of shedding, yes. 

I have never seen someone with new herpes caused by HSV 1 that has not received oral sex in the preceding two weeks.  That's as close as I can come to say8ing it is always caused by receiving oral sex.

As for anger:  I think it is so common to think that if you don't have a cold sore, you are not infectious.  I remember speaking at a meeting and after my talk, a physician stood up and said to me, "are you trying to tell me that cold sores are caused by herpes?"  So you can see the level of knowledge even among providers is very low.

Terri

Thank you for the follow up. I think that fact that many people (healthcare providers included) don't understand these things or the fact that there are varying opinions makes it more challenging to deal with. Do you think it would ever be necessary to disclose the location of my HSV to a partner? I'm just concerned about pregnancy down the road.

 I'm hopeful that there will hopefully be a vaccine or some other way to manage the virus in the future. I was wondering if there is any reason to have blood work done in the future to see how present the virus is. I always mix up the terms and letters, but I think it's the IgG. I've read that  in some cases over time the viral presence is so low it's not detected even after having had a previous positive result. 

Thank you so much for the support here. It's nice to have a safe space to get information and just feel supported.

I think if you have a regular partner in the future that you should disclose the location of your infection, yes.  Trust is an essential element of relationships and this is quite the secret to keep.  Also, in pregnancy, it could come up and you should most certainly disclose this information to a pregnancy provider. 

The most exciting thing going on right now is gene editing for herpes.  There is a study going on at the University of Washington and China is also doing this work.  It is likely to me that this will come to be more successful than a treatment or preventative vaccine in the near future.

You take care now, come back and talk more if you want to.

Terri