Long time reader first time poster. I have been able to keep my thoughts at bay reading your detailed and informative past posts but I find my self reading your forums 6-7 hours a day, finding questions that almost match mine and then thinking “what if?” This is not healthy or good for my family. 

So I bite the bullet to ask the question specific To me - I am scared of the answer but let’s see. Think this may be the end for me and my WIFE.

Encounter.

- 2.5 / 3 years ago (sorry can’t be more specific)

- drunken met another Male in a bar who took me to his hotel and gave me a long blowjob. 

- he found me on Facebook and we chatted he seemed nice, but I regretted the encounter. 

-after a few months he started getting nasty (manipulative) and blackmailed me into a further two sex hookups (both oral only)

Look truth is at the time I honestly did not realise that I was at risk of acquiring STI so I continued sex with my wife, it helped with the guilt and the pain. 

Eventually I shook him of and using money he’s no longer in contact and I’m free. 

It was only maybe two years AFTER that I started thinking of STI, mainly because we are now trying for a baby. Google tells me that oral is a risk for pretty much everything. So I start a battery of tests. I have been tested THREE times for Clym, Ghon, HIV and Syph (remember 2 maybe 3 years after contact) so I figure both me and my wife is in the clear! 

However I now realise that the bacterial ones clear on there own. In some people quicker than others. So I don’t think my wife is in the clear (even though I am). 

1) what do I need to do going forward to make sure that my wife is clear of infections.

2) I need a date I can put this all behind me. As much as I love your site I can’t spend my waking days reading and reading any more.

3) what are the risks? And how serious are they.

I have been asymptomatic throughout no discharge or pain while urination. And so as my wife as far as in aware (apart from not getting pregnant) she did ha

Sorry don’t mean to be impatient it looks like this has been updated 4 hours ago but I can’t see the reply.

Sorry if I’m been to eager just not sure how to read my reply 

I'm sorry you've become worried about the sexual encounter you have described. You can relax:  it was low risk, and at this point you can be sure you have no STI from the event. Oral sex isn't entirely risk free, but it's low risk for all infections and essentially zero for many. And the batteries of tests you had are completely reliable:  at the times you were tested, you had none of those infections. For example, there has never been a scientifically proved case of HIV transmitted oral to penis. The three main STIs from such an event are gonorrhea, nongonococcal urethritis (NGU), and herpes due to HSV1. Gonorrhea would have caused obvious symptoms in the next few days after the event; same for herpes and NGU (symptoms within 2 weeks). And asymptomatic HSV1 is rarely if ever transmitted sexually. Finally, NGU from oral sex is not due to any traditional STD -- probably usually caused by enitrely normal oral bacteria, with no potential harm to partners. 

Those comments pretty well cover your numbered questions, but to be explicit:

1) I see no need for any action at all at this point. All is well.

2) The date to put this behind you was when you had your first battery of tests 2-3 years after the sexual exposure.

3) Risks discussed above. None at all at this point.

So all is well. Let me know if anything isn't clear.

HHH, MD

Thank you so much for your reply, and sorry that I nudged you, I was confused with the timing of updates etc. 

I’m so relieved by your reply I felt sure that you would have told me that my wife is at risk from my encounters.

I just want to confirm one thing, I’m fairly sure you have answered this but I just want to be frank so I can stop my head going “What if?” Etc. 

Im well aware that I’m clear of the infections I have test for, I realise that the tests are very accurate. 

My question is my Wife, we have had a active sex life during and since this event, is there a scenario where I got Chlamydia of this guy (I say Chlamydia as I think that’s the one that would be least likely to cause symptoms in me) after getting Chlamydia my body has cleared the infection in the 2/3 year between even and test (so test has not picked this up) and my wife still has Chlamydia.

I’m fairly sure you are confident that both me and my wife are clear of any and all infections from your reply, but I just need to here it from an expert. 

Thanks again.  

Finally, in the exceedingly unlikely chance your wife was infected before your own immune system cleared an asymptomatic infection, her own infection likely is gone by now:  chlamydia in women is almost always cleared by the immune system within several months to a year.

So indeed, as you put it yourself, I am very "confident that both [you and your] wife are clear of any and all infections".

I really didn’t realise that chlamydia was such low risk from oral! Who’d have thought it with the information available to us laymen. 

Can I ask some final follow ups.

1) In regards to Gonnaharia (spelling sorry) if I got an infection I understand I would have been symptomatic. So this is probably a redundant questions. But if I would have been asymptomatic and cleared the infection between the encounter and my tests, would my wife have also have cleared?

2) would we simply not ping pong the infection between each other? And I guess law of averages if I was clearing and reinfecting my self from my wife definitely have been symptomatic at some point? Or even if not my tests pick it up once I finally test. 

2.5) or would I not reinfect myself via my wife so once I clear the strain of Ghon (or chlamydia) would I be immune to that said strain and need to reinfect from a new source.

Again I know you said your are very confident that Me and my wife are clear of infections so I get these questions are some what repetitive and redundant but I am interested to know. 

2) There's virtually no chance of this. Each episode would be likely to cause obvious symptoms. Continued lack of symptoms over the years is good evidence you weren't infected (in addition to the low risk of the exposure itself).

Do your best to move on without worry. All is well.

That completes the two follow-up exchanges included with each question and so ends this thread. I hope the discussion has been helpful. Best wishes and stay safe.