Me again, sorry for returning so soon. I of course know you have a police on repeat paying and asking questions. I also know that It’s for my own good not to do this. 

I have a few residual doubts that I think MAYBE if I clear up I can finally move on. 

And before we go on. I just want it to be know that after my recent talk with Dr HHH I have been in touch with my GP for anxiety and we are starting CBT as well as a prescription for some anxiety and depression tablets. Let’s hope they help.

Dr HHH helped me the other day and I can honestly say I am moving on I promise. I just worry about my wife so much. 

But in my last corraspondance I feel like I annoyed him with my questions. So so sorry if I did. I do realise the questions was of piste. These however are not 

So to make sure my wife is safe I need to know how you are so sure I never got an STI and how sure you are my wife is clear (assuming as I assume she has been faithful) 

1) chlamydia surprised me when you said I’m not at risk for this! How so? Everything online says it’s a risk and I have even seen people on this forum that got it from oral. So with that in mind, how quickly do men reinfect them selfs if a partner in a relationship is still positive ? I think this is the only way I can rule out chlamydia 

2) Ghonnaria would most likely have been obviously symptomatic? Yes so I can rule that out simply by not having discharge over the last year? Would each extra exposure to my wife (if she had it) mean I would most likely become symptomatic. How good is Doxycycline at curing Ghonnaria? Because if it dosnt my results would have been positive yes? 

3) HSV no symptoms in me or my wife in a year no worries. The gum clinic here dosnt even test if no symptoms.

4) NGU no discharge no worry’s yes? As if it’s asymptomatic it’s no risk to my wife I gained via oral. 

5) HIV test would have been positive no matter what (done at 12 week post latest exposure)

6) Syphillis same as HIV 

Thanks for your continued support and 

In response to your specific questions:

1.  Please remember, most people do not have STIs including chlamydia and most exposures of any sort do not lead to infection,  Further, as Dr. Handsfield told you, acquisition of chlamydia from either giving or receiving oral sex is very, very uncommon.    In your case, you have also been treated (with doxycycline) and have negative tests.  This is compelling evidence that you do not have chlamydia, in the unlikely circumstance that you ever did/

2.  Correct, gonorrhea is topically symptomatic.  Further, again, you tested negative.  Believe your test results.  doxycycline would cure some, but not all gonorrhea.  

3.  Correct.  Further, if you, like most adults already had HSV-! (most people with HSV-1 do not have or get cold sores) you would not be vulnerable to infection from oral sex.  HSV is not a concern.

4.  Correct on both counts

5.  Correct.  There are no cases of HIV which have been proved to be acquired through receipt of oral sex and, if one of your partners happened to have untreated HIV, your risk for infection would be less than 1 in 10,000 (i.e. like performing oral sex on an untreated, infected partner once daily for more than 27 years)

6.  Again, correct.

Please believe your test results.  I wish you the best.  EWH

I’m glad I found this site when I did. The opportunity to ask questions and get scientific responses is fantastic, good work. 

Can I just check. It’s the doxycycline that you said is a good thing for me that’s worrying me! I know this would have cleared Clymidia and perhaps Ghonaria in me. For a lot of people this would be great! But I have been cheating on my wife while still having sex with her. So if I caught anything and gave her something then I may never know now.

Remember I only tested for the first time while on the doxycycline(day 5)So like Dr HHH said feasible it cured me prior to testing. 

With that in mind.

1) how quickly could I expect to reinfect my self from my wife. 

2) would you say that over a year of regular sex with my wife and still remaining discharge free is a good sign. Or if I (and her) are asymptomatic carriers would you expect us to stay asymptomatic forever. 

3) what’s the chances all things discussed with you and Dr HHH that my wife has a STI of any kind. Shall I speak to her and get her tested? This will surely end our relationship. (Please assume my wife has been faithful in your reply) 

4) what would you do in my situation.

1.  Most single exposures do not lead to infection. Estimates are that STIs such as gonorrhea or chlamydia are transmitted approximately one out of five exposures.  Please remember however, there is no evidence that you are or have ever been infected. Had you infected your wife, she likely would have reinfected you and you would have been likely to have developed symptoms.

2.  Yes, see above.

3.  The likelihood that you have infected your wife is vanishingly low as Dr. Handsfield and I have both already said.  Most people do not have visit the eyes, your exposures were relatively low risk, you took antibiotics which, had an infection then present would have likely cured most infections, and you have tested negative.  My sense is that you are struggling with a combination of guilt and resulting anxiety. 

4.  You need to decide a way forward. My advice would be to start with counseling to address your anxiety and concerns. While disclosure is always the best course in some relationships this is not a viable alternative. You will have to make this decision.  EWH 

I think I have cleared the doubts in my head “I really think you are worrying unnecessary” like really helped set things straight. 

I’ll try and move on from all this, in a way I wish I never took the doxy it really over complicated the whole thing. Not helped. 

1) you think with regular sex between the doxy and a 3 month timescale between tests would be enough to reinfect my self how much belief can I put in that final test that my wife is not infected. (Can’t tell you how many time but would have been more than 5 in that time period)

2) Dr HHH has already answered this but I would be remiss to ask you (seen as he quoted a study you was a senior researcher in) but we are not worried about my penile pain I had in April AFTER tests. This is not a sign of me reinfecting myself from my wife? The penile pain as described before is a irritation at the tip of the penis and a bulging feeling that I had for 1.5 weeks before it cleared on its own. No discharge I checked. 

3) I’m happy my frequent urination and cloudy urine is not an STI sign but also reassured by my negative tests while having them symptoms something I can’t fall back in for the penile pain. 

4) could I have reinfected myself straight away from my wife - and with each episode of sex became more and more likely or would I be immune for a period of time/antibiotics still active in me after I finished taking them. As in 20% chance each time (on average 1 in 5) 

5) what do I need to look out for going forward I can’t really worry every time I get a twinge so is it really just discharge and burning urination that is classed as symptoms? 

Thank you and goodbye (last reply I’ll get from you). Thanks for you help. I will continue with my Doctor around counciling this will be a lot easier now I know I have No STI worries. 

1.  Yes, I’m confident that in the situation you would have already been reinfected if you had infected your wife.

2.  The discomfort/pain you describe at the view penis is not suggestive of any STI.

3.  Not sure this is a question. I agree with the statement.

4.  Repetitive. See response number one.

5.  If you do not have further missteps you need to stop worrying and move forward instead of focusing on every newly detected genital sensation. If you cannot do this, you do not need further testing but I would strongly recommend counseling to address your continuing anxiety and concern.

Has already stated. This completes this thread. Please do your best to move forward. To not do so will not be good for you, or your relationship with your wife. Take care. EWH

I just logged on as I’m itching to ask a few more questions even though I noticed and read/understood your comment about anxiety driven questions will be deleted and to my surprise this is still open. 

So can I be cheeky and ask a further question on here, if I need to pay again please say. I know I shouldn’t but after these comments from my GP I hope you understand why. 

I have started counselling this week but not helped. The doctor that referred me was rather nasty and obtuse about everything that happened and outright said everything you guys have told me is incorrect. Even questioned if your really are doctors. 

He said It’s very very likely that I have had chlamydia from the past encounters and the doxy would have cleared it but in the mean time highly likely that I passed it to my wife and she has chlamydia. He strongly arivsed I get her tested. We are trying for a baby and struggling he said Chlymidia is the leading cause of this and that’s why he’s so sure I gave it her from my exploits. I did tell him that I have tested after 3 months and still negative and he said means nothing most men with women living with chlmaymidia recently treated won’t catch it back in that time scale. He said maybe 30-40% WONT and asked me if I wanted to play Russian rulette with 40% loaded gun. 

It was a stern telling off from him and a shock based on what you, Dr HHH and the GUM clinic has stated in the past. 

I really really really don’t want to lose my wife over this I thought councilling was the answer but now this new doctor has stated the above you can imagine I’m in a flat spin. I can’t get them comments out of my head no matter how much you reassured me. 

1) can you comment on the doctors comments. I know you won’t go against medical advice of another prof but just generic. (He has not examined me or wife it was all over phone, same things I told you)

2) how often does chlamydia cause fertility issues. 

3) really doctor if I had sex 4-5 times your really would expect me to reinfect myself. 

4) now you know me and my wife are trying for a baby and struggling (not had any medical care yet) does this change your opinion that I have not infected my wife. 

5) is there any value in testing myself each month (cost to me) to test for reinfection. Or do I end relationship, divorce and make sure wife tested. 

I really want to move on but can’t now.  Please any advice will be a god send. 

This thread will now be closed.  EWH