It’s not that councilin isn’t working or won’t it’s just impossible to move on now a Gp has said it’s more likely thank not I have had chlamydia and my wife has it now. Imagine!

Doctor that referred me said 

- Very likely I got chlmodia and doubts your real. He has never heard any doctor say Oral sex is next to no risk. 

- if wife has chlamydia it’s just as likely that I won’t catch it back as I would (so my tests after antibiotics pointless) 

- only way forward is to get her testing as “he’s 99.9% sure that’s why we can’t conceive” 

- told me by not telling my wife I’m playing Russian roulette with a 40% loded gun. 

Shocked me based on all the expert advice you gave me and I didn’t want to keep coming to rely on you but the stark contrast from your advice to his has really rocked me.

So final follow up q’s if you can be so kind. If not so be it and enjoy the $25 on me. You do deserve it anyway.

1) how likely is it that chlymidi or even Ghon has caused me or my wife to be infertile or to struggle to convince. 

2) how many times have you seen one party in relationship test negative. 

3) is there a % value we can put on belief of the test at 3 month after fairly regular test in regards to reinfection. (Is it true that one party can not reinfect) 

4) is there value in me testing each month  to test for ireinfection or is that pointless waste of money. 

5) from a STI point of view not mental is the only way to be sure and out of this telling my wife and as such ending the relationship. 

I promise this exchange (if you accept it) will be my last. 

But with my wife and me struggling to conceive (something I didn’t even consider a STI for) and my doctors ‘advice’ I hope you can understand why I’m struggling and here again. 

HHH, MD

After my chats with you both i had started to move on for this doctor to ruin it. 

I will do my best to ignore his advice. I have re read all that you have put in our interactions and took the very detailed and reassuring advice into account. 

If I’m honest I’m tired of talking to doctors and explaining the situation. I just want to move forward without worry. So I plan not to speak to another health care provider and believe what you told me.

Just if you can final questions. 

1) in the exceedingly low chance I have infected my wife and she has a bacterial STI how likely is it to cause us our fatility issues, without other symptoms in her. 

2) this happened over a year ago now. I have read that bacteria STI self clear in fullness of time. Would you expect this to have happened between two people regularly having sex or would we keep topping up each other’s infection making impossible for body to clear. 

3) if the STI has gone self cleared then could the damage to my wife have been done but she will now tear negative (if I persue my at homes doctors advice and get her tested) 

4) is it a good idea to test monthly for say 6 months and if clear after that then I can categorically say My wife is infection free. 

5) or is the only way to say the above is getting my wife tested. Again ending our relationship in the most catastrophic way possible.

I realise the questions are some what redundant because I have never had any evidence of a STI so can’t have infected her. Just with this new doctors input I’m finding it hard to believe the facts oral sex is low risk and almost zero for some (words that gave me so much comfort in past) and then I think Of my “symptoms” which added to the fact me and my wife are trying for a baby. His words ring in my head “99.9% sure my wife has chlymidia” coupled with my symptoms it does all add up in an anxious mind.

I just find it hard to remove the what if from my head. Coincilling will help with that. But in the mean time, thank you so much. 

I’ll eagerly await your response and thank you once more for accepting my question. 

Just wondering if my most recent post has been missed. 

Sorry I know I’m annoying and adding little value to education of myself or other readers. 

I’m in a better frame of mind today. I have done some self study and while some of it is alarming and backs up what my GP said most of it absolutely goes against it. 

With my anxious mind I do find myself really focusing in on the infinitlesmall what if, and when I do I instantly forget all the work I have done to try and safe guard my wife. 

1) If I can just ask So can I just get your opinions on my questions in my last post. 

2) can I just check because I have read and re read your advice and it seems to me that you MAY have missed the fact that I have had extra marital oral sex and vaginal sex with my wife before doxycycline. And only tested after/during doxycycline. Can you explain to me in baby speak if you must how we are so sure that me and my wife have not had infections and are in the clear. It seems to me there is a scenario like my GP says that I got chlymidia or Ghonaria from oral say 6/12 months prior. Cleared it with doxy prior to testing (5 days) and not recaptured it from my wife by April and may never do. This is what basically my GP has said has happened so I’d like to know how likely this is and if it’s not likely why? I know this may be a repeated but I just need to be frank about the details. I will listen and take in what you say to this. 

And I’ll sign off then with a thanks and a message to anyone reading. Please listen and believe what these true experts tell you. They know what they are doing they are forerunners in the field. It’s amazing that for 25$ we get the opportunity to talk and exchange thoughts. 

Remember if there was a realistic possibility of whatever is causing you anxiety these experts will tell you. They have to the risk is too great to leave it to a dice roll. 

I’m not the only one that visits this site and has anxiety I know others do. That’s not what this site if for there is many many many great mental health experts out there that can and will help. But please listen to these doctors about your sexual health concerns and believe them. Don’t fall in to the trap of googling and fact checking like I do. It will near kill you.

Thanks doctors please answer my last questions. 

The risk that you infected your wife is not low, it is nonexistent. When women get STI’s only a small portion of women with complicated infections go on to become infertile.

Your question about getting an infection and passing it back-and-forth between you and your wife is repetitive. Read your prior threats.

Your what if question questions are non-productive and will not be addressed.  

Please see counseling. There is no evidence that you were ever infected and certainly no evidence that your wife was infected. Address your guilt. End of thread. EWH