I am a married 34 year old male and made a big mistake. My wife is out of town so I had some drinks and went to a strip club that was really sketchy,

I had a private dance and the stripper ended up being a man, I hadn’t realized this and they pulled down my pants and exposing my penis, the person was going to try and give me oral sex but they didn’t, they did spit on my penis, I tried to black the spit but some I think got on my penis, they gave me a hand job. It wasn’t until later that I noticed they had a penis which was pressed against my lower thigh, I got so mad and left but the damage is done, can you please tell me what stds I am most at risk for and when I can get tested to see if I caught anything. I am so sad and feel like I can’t forgive myself. Please let me know if and when it would be ok to have sex with my regular wife, ahhh I feels so disgusted, please help me doctors.

This exposure is similar to the one you discussed with Dr. Hook a few months ago. The only apparent differences are that your partner was male (at least anatomically) and there might have been slight exposure to saliva. Neither of these significantly changes the professional opinions and advice you had from Dr. Hook, who advised you that hand-genital contact is risk free. That's true even when genital fluids are used for lubrication, and also with saliva. In fact, saliva rarely carries STIs: it is toxic to many STI bacteria and viruses (it kills HIV, for example).

Accordingly, like last time, I see no need for any testing on account of this event. And you can safely continue your normal sexual practices with your wife.

In the event of future concerns, you really needn't worry at all about any sexual contact unless your or your partner's penis enters the other's vagina, anus, or mouth. Sometimes there can be slight risk from body rubbing without penetration. But please do not worry about kissing, hand-genital contact -- and no needs to ask future questions about them. Our replies always will be the same as you have now heard from both me and Dr. Hook.

I hope these comments are helpful. Let me know if anything isn't clear.

HHH, MD