9 days ago I went to a strip club and got a clothes lap dance that ended in a handjob, the dancer spit on my penis and I'm sure I touched her vagina with my hands.  No sex. 

Your contact is not a risk for acquiring genital herpes.  I'm guessing that you are worried about the saliva used to masturbate your penis but there are no known cases of herpes being transmitted in this way.  There is not a big enough quantity of virus in saliva to infect someone else - it takes more virus than you might think.  Also herpes symptoms would not show up the very next day and would also not result in your penis hurting inside and out.  Something I think that lap dancing with clothes on, though great for safe sex, can be pretty rough on penises, don't you? 
Have you ever in your life had a cold sore on your lip?  If yes, then you already have the oral herpes virus that you are concerned about getting from the strip club person.

Terri
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Thank you for your response, that does give me some comfort...

The same thing applies to you touching her vagina and then your penis- you could not transport enough virus on your hand to infect yourself.  You really are OK
If you did contract herpes, which I don't believe for a moment that you did, the sores could either be individual or in clusters.

Terri
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Ok. Thank you. 

General itching of the thighs, buttocks and legs is not a sign of herpes.  You should watch for any sores in the genital area.  I'm not at all clear that testing is necessary in your situation. 
I don't know if you might have herpes from some point in  your past, but this situation does not put you at risk enough to avoid sex with your wife, in my opinion

Terri
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The idea of a sore is so vague... Is even a little red mark considered a sore?  Or are these things clearly burst open and painful?

More like a water blister that breaks open into an ulcer in the skin that changes into a scab.  Many times they are painful, yes, or at least tender.

Terri
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