[Question #8861] penis to vagina rubbing for 20 seconds/ why am I so scared rn

39 months ago

So I have never had sex and this man I was with had confirmed with me that he won’t do anything I’m not comfortable with. This man also has sex with men and Women and I know he sleeps around but always uses condoms. But then this morning we were cuddling and he started grinding on me. I also had a slim thong on just barely covering my vaginal bits when he’s penis is out of his boxers grinding on me and I think it touches some of my vagina for a while I turned around and asked if it was not in his boxers anymore and he confirmed that it wasn’t.

I was very upset as I did not want this type of sexual conduct. the night before and that morning I let him put two fingers in me. I have had guys put their fingers in me before but never two and not that deep and not that long. Ask him if he washed his hands before and he said yes but that he also put on lotion with Teetry oil.

He had sex three weeks ago and got tested nine days later for everything. He gets tested all the time and has never had an STD. He has been tested for both hsv 1 and 2

That same day I go home and I’m getting ready for a concert that night when my vagina entrance starts to burn. Just my entrance. It only burns for a couple hours and goes away. Never looking any different. But when I was in the bathroom I thought my discharge looked a every so slightly green. But then later that same night it was back to white. Today is the day after and my vagina looks kinda red and a little hot but doesnt burn at all.

I’m definitely truly a hypochondriac as well as a cypridophia.

I just don’t understand why my friends can have unprotected casual sexual encounters and go to brunch the next day feeling perfectly fine and I freak out over a slight rub for less than a few seconds (20sec) and get so afraid that I have to pay a service to talk to the STD experts of the world.

I know I read on here that there is no recorded case of contracting an STD from rubbing as the front skin is just not the correct type of skin compared to penetration. How else can I calm my anxiety as that burning/ potencial direct skin on skin contact (I know that really made me scared for a second.

I do know that my thong was covering mostly but im still a little nervous that he touches like the labia majora for a few seconds.

Edward W. Hook M.D.

39 months ago

Welcome to our Forum and thanks for your confidence in our services. I’ll be glad to comment. I’ll provide some information regarding the events you describe and then a few more general comments.

This was a no risk encounter. Direct penetration is required for transmission of the most common STIs (chlamydia, Gonorrhea,, trichamonas) and STIs and masturbation with fingers is a no risk event, as is genital rubbing ( frottage). In addition, your partner’s negative tests provide further assurance that he is not infected. The transient irritation you experienced may well have been due to friction, particularly if you were not lubricated during frottage or masturbation.

Try your best to feel more comfortable about sex as an element of your relationship. It is an pleasurable expression of affection for most people which can be engaged in safely. STIS are not all that common and there are a variety of measures that can be employed to reduce risk for unplanned and unwanted consequences of sexual activity- birth control measures, the HPV vaccine and condoms for STI prevention.. it sounds to me that you have a partner you can talk things through with. I’d encourage you to do so. EWH

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38 months ago

Thank you so much for your answer. I really appreciate it. So what ended up happening is like I said I got home on wednesday the 25th may and then hours later after the event that took place that morning like exactly 10 hrs later. I started having irritation in my vaginal area (my question would be would any std start that early like herpes?) and then it went away but then that night I took monistat and then the next day came back so I used monistat which always works for me with yeast infections and it kept the pain mild. My vagina was just red, swollen and slightly painful. But my yeast infection has never felt like burning. My body responded really well to the monistat and the pain instantly started to go away. On friday I started to feel a little sick, like sore throat, stuffy nose, and headache and by saturday I had a fever of 104 I got antibiotics and 3 hrs after taking them my fever broke and by sunday I felt almost normal and by monday my yeast infection and all symptoms from my fever were gone. I have never had a sickness this fast before. I have felt fine ever since. Do these symptoms warrant testing of any kind of my contact with this man?

Edward W. Hook M.D.

38 months ago

Thanks for the additional information. There are no STIs which would cause symptoms within hour of an encounter. More typically symptoms would occur 3 or more days after exposure. Your rapid onset of symptoms is more suggestive of an allergic reaction ( you did not mention lubricant or condoms at the time of your encounter but these do cause symptoms in some people relatively quickly) or friction which might also take several hours to become irritating.

I suspect your fever and flu-like symptoms are unrelated to your genital contact.

As I understand it, there was no penetration. If that’s the case, no need for testing.

Hope these comments are helpful. EWH

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