[Question #9087] Hiv and sti risk

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36 months ago
Dear drs, 
I had 2 exposure i will explain it as soon as possible 

First exposure: i met a girl Arabic escort unknown status and she’s not welling about stds thats make me freak after we had kissed each others deep kissing for 10 minutes, touching her body and her breast sucking her nipples i was on top of her naked and she was wearing her underwear only kissing and touching then she bring me condom and i wear it then she give me oral sex with condom for 10 minutes and at the end she came on top of me and rubbing her vaginal naked with penis and i still ware a condom until i cum 

Second exposure: meet an Russian escort  little kiss on her neck touching her breast with light kiss and i wear the condom and she gave me oral sex with condom for 6 min after i took off the condom and cum on her using my hand. 

I’m so freaking out idk what to do if i have risk from hiv especially or any sti 

Should i test for sti and hiv ? 

Very important Note: i have a wife and a child 10 month old she’s on breastfeeding from my wife i know I’m so dumb to do that I’m so afraid to them too much I can’t think that i will do something bad to them please help please 

Thanks drs and sorry for this long paragraph 
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H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
36 months ago
Welcome to the forum. I'm happy to help.

You are at no risk at all for HIV or any STI, or so little it can be ignored. HIV first:  HIV is virtually never transmitted sexually except by penile-vaginal or penile-anal sex. Even oral sex is no risk, or so low it cannot be measured:  one estimate from the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) for oral to penile HIV risk, if the oral partner is infected, is one transmission for every 20,000 exposures. That's equivalent to getting BJs by infected persons once daily for 55 years before transmission might be expected. And to the extent you were physically close, wearing a condom provided additional excellent protection. 

In general, STIs are spread more easily than HIV. But even here there was no risk. STI bacteria and viruses also require closer and more intimate contact than you describe. Hand-genital contact is no risk, so her masturbating you was also risk free.

So there is definitely no need to be "freaking out" over these events.  You cannot possibly infect your wife or your baby -- it isn't possible you caught anything, so it isn't possible you could infect your wife and you should continue unprotected sex with her as you normally would. (And even if you were at risk, your baby cannot catch it. STIs and HIV are never transmitted in the household, only by sex; and not by nursing moms through breast milk.)

"Should I test for STI and HIV?" From a medical/risk standpoint, you definitely do not need testing. Of course you are free to get tested if the negative results would reassure you beyond my 100% confidence you are not at risk. 

I hope these comments are helpful. Let me know if anything isn't clear.

HHH, MD
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36 months ago
Thanks doctor for your reply okay so to be more clear 
1- oral sex with condom is zero risk 
2- rubbed vaginal to penis for 10 min with condom is zero risk 
Is these 2 points what I understand is right ? 

Also i read on the most of the websites that hiv can transmitted thru breastmilk thru breastfeeding my fear was to have sex with my wife and I transmitted to her then she feed my child breastfeeding milk 10 month old and she will get it too is it correct doctor ? 

For my all 2 exposure am i 100% free risk and safe from hiv and sti ? 
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H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
36 months ago
You are asking me to repeat the answers above. OK, here goes:

1. Correct. (Zero risk even without condom.)
2. Correct, no HIV risk. 

Since your wife cannot catch HIV from you, there is no possibility she could infect your baby by nursing. In addition, milk feeding carries risk for the baby, but lower risk than you might think. Among HIV infected mothers nursing their infants, only 15% of the babies become infected, and not usually until age 3-6 months -- while swallowing a few ounces of their mothers' milk every day.

Yes you are 100% safe from HIV and STI.


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36 months ago
For your update doctor it was 3 exposure not 2 
Third exposure was cuddling kissing body touching breast kissing her breast then i put the condom and sit on top of me rubbing her vaginal with my penis for 1-2 min max then she gave me oral also with condom for 5 min and i was fingering and rubbing her vaginal with my fingers her when she’s performed oral on me and on same hand i use it i masturbate my penis directly after i fingering her and cum 

THE GIRL IS NOT SAFE BECAUSE I KNOW AFTER SHES DOING VAGINAL SEX WITHOUT CONDOM SO SHE IS A RISKY GIRL 
I want to be sure please about following: 

1 - any risk from my 3 exposure of hiv ?
Even low risk because i have a wife and baby child

2- any risk from my all 3 exposure of any sti ? Mean even low risk because i have a wife and a baby child

3- any risk from fingering then after i masturbate my penis directly with same hand with condom ? 

4 - any risk of protected oral even if it 0.0000000000001 % ? 

5- any risk of rubbing my penis in her vaginal position was she was on top of me with condom ? 

6 - should I continue resuming my sexual life with my wife normally without any risk on her and the baby child ? 

7- should i test of any sti or hiv even if there is 0.0000000000001% risk ? 

Am i 100% free risk from hiv and all sti from the all 3 exposure ? 

Sorry doctor my anxious is killing me literally 
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H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
36 months ago
These questions have already been answered, or the answers are obvious from my previous replies; it doesn't change anything to ask the same questions in different words. You are not at risk of HIV and have not been infected. As I already said, since you remain worried despite my reasoned, science based advice, you should be tested for HIV to help convince yourself you don't have it. I also suggest you seek professional counseling. It is not normal to have such difficulty accepting reality and it suggests a possible underlying emotional/psychological issue. I suggest counseling from compassion, not criticism.

That concludes this thread. Please do not be tempted to start a new thread with the same questions. The answers will not change. Best wishes to you.
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