I am unders anxiety and stres almost a year. I am 35, male, 1 year a go i did fellatio and nipple sucking with prostitute without protection. 1-2 month after expose i had some burning feeling on my throat, also my wife had it. Also i have white coat since then, also had ulcers but now gone. I did swab test and result in strep B hemolitics. I took some antibiotics, after a month of those abx i did again sputum culture and result in candida albicans and pneumococcus. Until now my tongue is white yet also i have constant ear pain. My wife also has ear pain. I know that fellatio has low risk but looks like i am the unlucky person i got hiv. I am teste for for chlamid and hsv. I did not have courage to test hiv.

Thanks in advance

It is exceedingly unlikely you have HIV. The exposure you describe was very low risk, for reasons you apparently understand (no known cases from fellatio, as well as none known by oral contact with nipples or skin anywhere else). And depending on where in the world you are, the chance your partner had HIV may be very low; the large majority of sex workers, anywhere in the world, do not have HIV! And your symptoms and lab test results (sputum culture, for example) are less typical of HIV than you might think. Your wife's ear pain has nothing at all to do with your sexual exposure:  she also does not have HIV.

Probably you have predicted my advice:  Bite the bullet and have an HIV blood test. I have zero patience with delaying testing for fear of a positive result. (Same thing for people who delay mammography, colonoscopy, and other tests or exams for life-threatening conditions:  it's always just plain dumb.) You are denying yourself the only method for conclusive reassurance. And research and clinical experience show that when someone who has hesitated finally has the test they fear, anxiety always declines, even if the result is the one feared -- in your case positive for HIV. Learning a positive result is always less stressful than the worry that preceded testing. And given your exposure history and symptoms, you can definitely expect a negative result anyway.

Almost any available lab-based HIV test will be sufficient, but I suggest you not do a home self test. These tests miss a few percent of positives and therefore are not as reassuring. Preferably go through your doctor's office, or directly to a lab that routinely uses an antigen-antibody (AgAb, "4th generation") HIV blood test.

I will be happy to comment again if you get tested and return to let me know the result. However, I will have no additional comments or advice until then. Do it within two weeks; after that time, the thread will be closed. Stay mellow as you seek testing and get the result. I am confident it will be negative.

HHH, MD