Disclosure of diagnosed HPV infections, or clinical manifestations typical for HPV (like warts and abnormal Pap smear) is controversial and often highly personal. However, this applies only to diagnosed HPV, not exposure to it. Most experts would agree that someone in your situation -- sexually exposed to a diagnosed person, but not known to be infected him/herself -- has no obligation to disclose. And it really would not have any benefit whatsoever for the persons you might disclose to, such as potential new sex partners. HPV is so common (including high risk types like HPV 16) that anyone who has been sexually active, or will be, has already been at risk and exposed. Knowing that a potential new partner also has HPV therefore does not materially raise that person's chance of being infected. Therefore, the main effect of disclosure is more likely to be negative than positive:  unnecessary anxiety, perhaps in some cases increased health care costs for testing and exams that aren't needed, disruption of his or her newer (current) sexual partnership, etc, etc.

So I would advise you to get beyond "feeling horrible". You have done nothing wrong; indeed informing your past partner would be more likely to do harm than good.

Your negative urine test is meaningless. Even with active HPV, most urine tests are negative; the infection more commonly involves genital skin, not urine or the interior genital tract. Indeed, no HPV testing is ever recommended in males, with very rare exceptions.

All in all, your ex girlfriend's abnormal pap and HPV 16 infection is a big nothing burger that need not concern you or your future sex partners. Admittedly, some of these fews are my personal professional ones, and not all experts would agree. But these perspectives clearly are the main consensus among STI and HPV experts.

I hope these comments are helpful. Let me know if anything isn't clear.

HHH, MD

That completes the two follow-up exchange included with each question and so ends this thread. I hope the discussion has been helpful. Do your best to move on without worry:  you are no different than millions of other men in the US (i.e. exposed to or even infected with high risk types of HPV), very few of whom will go on to have any adverse health effects. This really truly is no big deal!

Best wishes and stay safe.