When I was on my back she glided up and down me. I was careful to ensure her vagina did not rub against my penis. It may have touched her vagina on the outside occasionally for a second or two but no intentional grinding or rubbing. There was no oral sex or vagina or Anal sex

 Just masturbation and she occasionally had used her saliva as a form of lube with coconut oil. 

On day 7 after meeting her I found my groin area to be a it itchy. Not burning no blisters or pain. Rather I noticed occasionally I would need to give a light scratch. 

1) am I at risk of herpes or crabs or syphilis from the naked body to body contact. Mores specifically from the brief 4 to 5 seconds my uncovered penis may have touched the outside of her vagina.

I was under the impression massage is fairly low risk as long as I am not rubbing my penis against her vagina.

2) does this warrant any testing with the saliva and the itching.

3) this was a big lapse in judgement. I am not meeting my regular suexual partner as I am worried if I do I could infect them from this itching episode. Is this itching a possible std symptom outside of the 3 I mentioned above.

Thank you

Sorry one last thing - just wanting to ensure you have the full picture. the itching is more around the groin area vs the penis. i feel the need to occasionally just touch the groin and most times it is the testicular area or the pubic hair area.

I am also well aware my senses are extremely heightened as you can tell based on this post so i am not sure if this my overthinking it.

Welcome to our Forum and thanks for your questions.  I'll be glad to comment.  by and large, body-to-body rubbing of the sort you describe (often referred to as "frottage"), like receipt of masturbation is considered safe, virtually no risk sex.  While there is a theoretical risk of transmission of cutaneous STIs such as syphilis or herpes, years of observation indicate that such transmission events are extraordinarily uncommon.  When you combine this with the fact that most commercial sex workers/masseuses' do not have STIs, the encounter you describe is not something to worry about.  I'll expand on these comments below as I answer your specific questions:

1) am I at risk of herpes or crabs or syphilis from the naked body to body contact. Mores specifically from the brief 4 to 5 seconds my uncovered penis may have touched the outside of her vagina.

See my comments above.  STIs are not transmitted in saliva which contains a number of anti-bacterial substances.  Further, he brevity of your exposure adds adds to the low risk nature of this exposure.  Penis-to vagina contact without actual penetration does not change this.  If your symptoms were due to herpes, shallow ulcers would form at the site of itching soon after the itching began.  That your itching is in your groin rather than on the penis suggests that this may be normal "jock itch" (even without a jock strap), perhaps amplified by the fact that you are paying closer than normal attention to your genial areas following your encounter.  

2) does this warrant any testing with the saliva and the itching.

I see no need for testing of any sort related to the encounter you describe.

3) this was a big lapse in judgement. I am not meeting my regular suexual partner as I am worried if I do I could infect them from this itching episode. Is this itching a possible std symptom outside of the 3 I mentioned above.

I see no risk at all to your regulars sexual partner and no reason to abstain from unprotected sexual contact.  

I hope this information is helpful.  If there are further questions or any part of my reply is unclear, please don't hesitate to use your up to two follow-ups for clarification.  EWH

Thanks very much Doctor.

i just examined and did not notice any ulcers. i assume i would know if i had a ulcer? they would be noticable of sorts?

is crabs a possible concern here? The feeling is a tingling form more than an itching. like a tingling crawling feeling around the pubic region and definitely not on the penis.

thank you

Crabs and lice are uncommon in situations of the sort you describe and would be seen,.

Again, we frequently find that when individuals focus on one part of their body or another, they tend to become aware of the otherwise normal sensations that we all typically overlook in our day to day lives.  EWH

Thank you for clarrifying that.

i will move on. I did confess to my partner this morning however i am paranoid as i didnt want to have my error infect her in anyway.

I will take from this forum that infecting is not possible as i most likely would not have caught anything.

this i assume would be as close to a no risk event as one could get i presume.

thank you and havea  good day

This completes this thread.  EWH