I just went to a massage parlor in my homecountry (in south east asian region). Usually they dont “allow” customer to have sex so no regular hiv testing (as far as i know). 

However, i managed to have sex with the worker, with the condom i had. Before that, i was given an unprotected oral for 2-3 mins while im fingering her.

Im pretty scared afterwards and ask her if she got tested regularly, she said she done some testing at the hospital, but only pap smear and the result was clear.

Therefore, 

1. what is the real risk of me getting infected by hiv, from the oral, fingering, and protected sex? Im not sure if i have cuts on my finger or not since i usually bite my nails. But after i finger her i washed my hand with soap. Meanwhile, there is no leak in the condom and the vaginal penetration begins with the condom on.

2. Should i do some testing afterwards? How about other stds besides hiv? 

Thank you for your help doctors!

You were wise to use a condom for this encounter.  Although most commercial sex workers do not have HIV or other STIs and most single exposures to infected partners do not lead to infection, if your partner had sex with you, it is likely she has had sex with others and there is a possibility that she was infected.  Fortunately, condoms provide excellent protection against HIV and other STIs and no one has ever been proven to have acquired HIV from receipt of unprotected oral sex.  In response to your specific questions:

1. what is the real risk of me getting infected by hiv, from the oral, fingering, and protected sex? Im not sure if i have cuts on my finger or not since i usually bite my nails. But after i finger her i washed my hand with soap. Meanwhile, there is no leak in the condom and the vaginal penetration begins with the condom on.

As mentioned above there is no risk of acquiring HIV from receipt of oral sex.  The same is true of masturbation ("fingering") in which an infected partners genital secretions get on you- no risk at all for HIV, even if there were cuts or scrapes on your fingers.  Condoms are very good protection against HIV as long as worn from the beginning to end of the penetrative sexual encounter.  I would not be worried about this exposure

2. Should i do some testing afterwards? How about other stds besides hiv?  

The risk of this encounter is so low that I do not feel strongly that testing is needed.  Testing however can give a person additional peace of mind so, if you are concerned, testing is easy and reliable.  You can be tested for the most common STIs- gonorrhea and chlamydia- using a urine test any time more than 3-5 days after your exposure.  Definitive testing for syphilis and HIV using a blood test can be done at 6 weeks.  As I said above, I would not be worried but, testing can be reassuring if you are worried.  Personally, I probably would not test.

I hope this information is helpful.  EWH

1. What is the effectiveness of condom to prevent hiv and stds? Do you ever encounter someone that consistenly using condom and still got infected?

2. What does it means “using the condom correctly”? How does “condom not correctly used” is described?

3. If i wore condom on the wrong way round, will it decrease the effectiveness? If yes, is it significant? Because some articles say it does but some says it is the same

Furthermore, personally i wouldnt test myself until i came across some symptoms. My mind says it should be safe but i know i might get paranoid one day. Am i choosing the right decision?

Thanks doctor!

I agree with this approach.

I hope these comments are helpful.  EWH

I was looking on some articles on some webs and i have several questions out of my curiousity:

1. When people said that condoms are 90-99% effective for stds such as HIV or syphillis, how does the effectiveness of condom reduced? Is it because the error of the condom itself (manufacturer defects) therefore even though we use it from beginning until the end without any rupture, it can still fail?  or is it because of user’s error such as inconsistent usage of condom (e.g. not using from the beginning of penetration) for the partners or breakage condom? 

2. I regularly done testing before using rapid antibody 3rd gen testing due to its secrecy issue, what is the accuracy for testing at 4, 8, 12 weeks after exposure?

3. How long should i look out for other symptoms of std such as syphilis, gonorrhea, herpes, etc after the exposure? 

4. I have to admit that im in a committed relationship, and i feel ashamed of myself to go to the massage parlor. Now im scared to have sex without protection with my partner. Do you think i need to test and wait until the 12rh week after exposure to have unprotected sex with my partner?

I really appreciate your help doctor.

1.  I explained correct condom use above.  Sometimes people use condoms more than once or do not put the condom on until after initial perpetration.  Condoms do not “leak”.  When they break they break wide open.  Manufacturing problems are not typically a problem.

2.  HIV antibody tests are reliable and conclusive at any time more than 8 weeks after an encounter.  Not all recent infections would be detected at 4 weeks.

3.  Any STI symptoms you might experience would occur before a month passed.

4.  I’ve already told you that the encounter you described was virtually no risk.  You certainly do not need to wait 12 weeks.  Personally, I would not bother testing at all but if you need extra assurance, test results would be conclusive after 6 weeks.

This completes this thread.  I really think you are worrying unnecessarily.  EWH