Ten days ago I visited a strip club and had an intense lap dance in the VIP room, during which the stripper put her tongue in my mouth, I placed my finger in her vagina, and I licked her clitoris and vulva.  The contact between my tongue and her body totaled roughly 30 seconds to 1 minute.  There were no sores or noticeable bleeding on her body or mine, other than some mild gum inflammation in my mouth.  I was intoxicated at the time, and the next day became quite worried about what I may have been exposed to.  2 days after the encounter I developed a respiratory infection, which everyone in my house had as well.  Nonetheless, 6 days after the encounter, I went to a walk in clinic and explained the situation to the doctor there and had my throat/mouth swabbed for bacteria and viruses, which all came back negative.  I have avoided all contact with my wife since the incident, and I’m wondering if there is any other testing that is necessary or required before I could safely have contact with my wife again.  There is so much conflicting information on the internet about risks of HIV and other STIs from oral sex that it’s hard to know what the real risk is.  I have been otherwise monogamous my entire life, so this encounter is the first and last time I will put myself in this situation.  Thank you.

The encounter you describe was low risk. Most strippers and commercial sex workers do not have STI’s. In addition, the activities you describe very low, low risk for acquisition of STI‘s. Deep kissing with exchange of saliva almost never results in acquisition of pharyngeal STI’s. Similarly, masturbation (fingering) is a no risk activity. Performing oral sex (cunnilingus) on infected partner is biologically a very inefficient process, but can rarely lead to acquisition of oral gonorrhea.  Were the throat swabs performed on you sent for specific testing for gonorrhea and chlamydia, or just for the far more common, usual pathogens which cause sore throats. The reason I ask, is that testing for gonorrhea and chlamydia, which are the only infections which you would be at meaningful risk for, require a specific test, and are not tested for with a more general throat swab.