I had unprotected sex with my ex around the 24th of December. She said she had unprotected sex earlier with her exes. A week after my exposure, I started having symptoms but it subsided. It's like the 42nd day since the exposure and I'm super sick. I have a terrible headache which extends to the back of my head and goes down to my neck. The inside of my ears hurt as well. My neck is very stiff. I have multiple joints aches, muscle aches, fatigue, sore throat and nausea. This has been going for the past few days. I haven't noticed high fever yet. Regarding rashes, I've been feeling small pimples on my back. This was the first time I had unprotected sex and I'm uncircumcised. My doctor however refuses that it's ARS or related to HIV. I've been wanting to test and might test in 2 weeks or so. But I'm really worried. Can this be ARS or HIV related. My headaches are sharp. And I've been reading that its one of the most common ARS Symptoms. I feel like I'm at very high risk and I'm super worried. 

HHH, MD

I'm confident a way can be found to do it. Or consider showing him your discussions on this forum. Your doctor and I agree you're at low risk for HIV, but then perhaps s/he would understand why it's important for you to be tested for reassurance. And I also do not understand why it would be so difficult to find a different doctor or clinic to order a test.

I had few genuine questions I had doubts with.

1.  You had mentioned in this thread that my symptoms aren't typical for ARS. But aren't these symptoms Flu like? The doctor told me my tonsils were enlarged and has given me a medicine. I have other symptoms like terrible headache both on the front and back, multiple joint aches, muscle aches, fatigue, swollen lymph nodes near the neck and groin etc. Aren't these usually a part of ARS as well? Plus, its like 5 or 6 weeks post the exposure. Also, I am talking about the current symptoms which started few days back. I do not have a fever. I did start getting red rashes on my arms however. I have taken an injection for my terrible headache and joint aches which slightly reduced the pain.

2. I had mentioned that my girlfriend had multiple partners. Last time she tested negative was around May 2022. She had two partners after that. Both of who she had unprotected sex with. One being an Egyptian and other being an Indian. Now since we do not know the history of her ex partners, and if they have a history with gay men etc etc, wouldn't there be chance she would get it as well? And then her passing it to me? 

3. Can HIV be avoided if I've washed my penis after sex? I remember washing it throughly as I didn't wanna take the risk being uncircumcised. Also, you did mention that it is unlikely to get HIV from a single exposure. But wouldn't it still be a risk considering the fact that I am uncircumcised?

4. She has also told me she never got sick post covid (June 2022) but has occasional headaches and sometimes even diarrhea. But no flu like symptoms. Can the absence of ARS symptoms prove that she doesn't have HIV?

5. I was told that there were few factors involved in transmitting HIV. Something about the Viral Load. Wouldn't it be easier to pass the virus if she is untreated?

Please help me out with these if possible. I apologize if I am constantly asking you questions. The paranoia doesn't stop. I have clearly understood that my risk is nearly low to zero. But my symptoms mixed with my OCD is trying to convince me otherwise. And this is me trying to get reassurance that I do not have HIV. And that my symptoms are caused by something else. Once again, I apologize for constantly asking questions. Take care doctor.

Perhaps it will also help you to know that in the 15 years of this and our preceding forum, with thousands of questions from users worried about HIV, not one has yet turned out to have HIV. You will not be the first. If and when that finally happens, surely it will be a truly high risk situation (like unprotected anal sex between men).